This week i have mainly..
Been looking for some work, and succeeding! Thank goodness for that. I have a few days spare before I go to Thailand with my sister, so i've decided to become a domestic goddess and bulk cook all my brand new fiance's favourite dinners and pop them in the freezer for him. Awww how very 1940's of me.
Things are definately on the up, and I am looking forward to setting the date, having my holiday, starting my job, and getting my new ring! I'm a lucky girl.
Went for a loverly swim earlier, lost a few pounds since returning from India and hope to lose more. I'm really looking forward to planning my wedding, it's such an important landmark to be honest it all feels a bit surreal. I feel happy and very in love. Of course these feelings are quietly peppered by thoughts of my Mum. I was thinking how nice it would be to take her for a swim up at the golf club, then have some lunch in the bar afterwards and have a good old natter about wedding plans. I think this is why my feelings are erring toward having a small and intimate wedding, because the gap she has left in my life and the pain I feel when I think of her is so immense, and it is such a special day for me, to be marrying the man I love so much, it feels very personal to me. How lucky I am to have a half brother who can step up and do the duty of the father, because without him the whole day would just feel awkward and so visibly untraditional it wouldn't feel right somehow, getting married in a church that is.
Still I am taking steps in the right direction, I have weaned myself off of the Citalopram and although i've been acting like a bit of a tit in a trance i've been ok. I haven't been sleeping well and I am up and down like a yo-yo but that's normal, it was rough going on the damn things and although I would have ideally liked to have stayed on them slighly longer I think it's for the best and I knew it wouldn't be a bed of roses coming off them. I can see this blog post is getting a little dark, my mood has been a bit black today - although I had an email from my best friend and that cheered me up, i do miss her and how we bounce off each other. God I miss my mum today too! (fiance has just cheered me up by robot dancing in front of me - bless him)
I hope to set the date soon, I am looking forward to having something to plan, and something to look forward to. I am going to have a happy and longlasting marriage. Next time I blog i will write about something really positive and happy, as I feel very strange today and what i could really do with is a great big fat spliff!
Things are definately on the up, and I am looking forward to setting the date, having my holiday, starting my job, and getting my new ring! I'm a lucky girl.
Went for a loverly swim earlier, lost a few pounds since returning from India and hope to lose more. I'm really looking forward to planning my wedding, it's such an important landmark to be honest it all feels a bit surreal. I feel happy and very in love. Of course these feelings are quietly peppered by thoughts of my Mum. I was thinking how nice it would be to take her for a swim up at the golf club, then have some lunch in the bar afterwards and have a good old natter about wedding plans. I think this is why my feelings are erring toward having a small and intimate wedding, because the gap she has left in my life and the pain I feel when I think of her is so immense, and it is such a special day for me, to be marrying the man I love so much, it feels very personal to me. How lucky I am to have a half brother who can step up and do the duty of the father, because without him the whole day would just feel awkward and so visibly untraditional it wouldn't feel right somehow, getting married in a church that is.
Still I am taking steps in the right direction, I have weaned myself off of the Citalopram and although i've been acting like a bit of a tit in a trance i've been ok. I haven't been sleeping well and I am up and down like a yo-yo but that's normal, it was rough going on the damn things and although I would have ideally liked to have stayed on them slighly longer I think it's for the best and I knew it wouldn't be a bed of roses coming off them. I can see this blog post is getting a little dark, my mood has been a bit black today - although I had an email from my best friend and that cheered me up, i do miss her and how we bounce off each other. God I miss my mum today too! (fiance has just cheered me up by robot dancing in front of me - bless him)
I hope to set the date soon, I am looking forward to having something to plan, and something to look forward to. I am going to have a happy and longlasting marriage. Next time I blog i will write about something really positive and happy, as I feel very strange today and what i could really do with is a great big fat spliff!
Comments