When will I sleep again.
I've wanted to blog a piece for so long now, I've mentally written some lovely posts about settling back in the UK and being reunited with those I missed.
I don't get a chance to do much writing these days, or internet browsing full stop (sob). Having two little ones, the littlest one of whom is crawling and pulling herself up on the furniture and cruising around, means I literally do not stop and sit down for a moment. Having one baby is a doddle compared to having two little tearaways - and for those women who have 3 under 3? You are mental.
They are gorgeous children and they fill my day with heart warming moments.
Sleep is still very much an issue. We are working on Williams nocturnal waking, and he is getting better. He sleeps through now and then which is wonderful, if only Lily would contemplate doing the same thing. She wakes every hour or so in the night. I feel like I have failed in some way. Its exhausting trying to get her to settle and then put her in her cot at the end of our bed, only for her to wake up again and the long drawn out process of getting her to sleep begins again. I sleep with her in my bed eventually, this way she has access to my boob and although I don't sleep well at least I am not getting up and out of bed every hour to sort her out. I feel like I haven't taught her to self settle, and I feel like a bad mother. I wake up and I don't feel rested. I feel tired, and irritable, and short tempered. It's hard with your second, because leaving them to cry isn't really an option when you have another little sleeping human to consider. Especially when that little sleeping human doesn't generally sleep that well. And whats with the pre 6am wake ups? Surely I deserve a little time in the morning to relax? She doesn't settle well at night, my evenings, every evening, is spent going in and out of the bedroom getting out my boob for her to settle on it. You know that feeling where you are so tired you could cry? I cry every day. I am tired.
I mostly feel at my wits end. I mostly feel like I have done something wrong as a mother to have a baby that at nearly 8 months old doesn't know how to sleep at night, and I mostly feel worn out. I hear about the wonders of a good night sleep, and I honestly feel like if only I could get some proper rest I would function better, but that feels like it will never happen. And I love my babies dearly, but I am tired.
I hope that soon enough, I can read back on this post, with a rested head and feel totally and utterly better.
I don't get a chance to do much writing these days, or internet browsing full stop (sob). Having two little ones, the littlest one of whom is crawling and pulling herself up on the furniture and cruising around, means I literally do not stop and sit down for a moment. Having one baby is a doddle compared to having two little tearaways - and for those women who have 3 under 3? You are mental.
They are gorgeous children and they fill my day with heart warming moments.
Sleep is still very much an issue. We are working on Williams nocturnal waking, and he is getting better. He sleeps through now and then which is wonderful, if only Lily would contemplate doing the same thing. She wakes every hour or so in the night. I feel like I have failed in some way. Its exhausting trying to get her to settle and then put her in her cot at the end of our bed, only for her to wake up again and the long drawn out process of getting her to sleep begins again. I sleep with her in my bed eventually, this way she has access to my boob and although I don't sleep well at least I am not getting up and out of bed every hour to sort her out. I feel like I haven't taught her to self settle, and I feel like a bad mother. I wake up and I don't feel rested. I feel tired, and irritable, and short tempered. It's hard with your second, because leaving them to cry isn't really an option when you have another little sleeping human to consider. Especially when that little sleeping human doesn't generally sleep that well. And whats with the pre 6am wake ups? Surely I deserve a little time in the morning to relax? She doesn't settle well at night, my evenings, every evening, is spent going in and out of the bedroom getting out my boob for her to settle on it. You know that feeling where you are so tired you could cry? I cry every day. I am tired.
I mostly feel at my wits end. I mostly feel like I have done something wrong as a mother to have a baby that at nearly 8 months old doesn't know how to sleep at night, and I mostly feel worn out. I hear about the wonders of a good night sleep, and I honestly feel like if only I could get some proper rest I would function better, but that feels like it will never happen. And I love my babies dearly, but I am tired.
I hope that soon enough, I can read back on this post, with a rested head and feel totally and utterly better.
Comments
I found out my son was tongue tied at 18 weeks. We had it cut and it did stretch the wake ups to about 2hrly from 30 mins-1hr. He fed constantly all day everyday. I have tried sleep therapists with him to no avail so I am now starting to think he is just not a sleeper and its not me. He will grow out of it as I am sure one day yours will. Doesn't make you feel better now though I know. My latest thing i am trying is cranial osteopathy - we have found supposedly the best guy in UK Christophe Becquereau. Worth a try anyway.
xx Another tired mum
(Another tired mum!)