When Friends Let you Down.

I just finished watching Bridesmaids, a hysterical film about friendship, and love, and crapping yourself in your wedding dress. 


It made me feel sad though because it reminded me of how I was let down by a so called 'good friend'. I wasn't only let down by her but I didn't even hear from her after she decided that coming to the wedding wasn't going to be a good idea. Not a text, voice mail, email, or even a card. She totally abandoned me feeling that her reasons for it were valid. 


In the run up to my wedding I was stressed, struggling to meet the payments that kept falling on us, sick with terrible morning sickness and a little curious as to how my big day would pan out without my Mum there by my side. So I think I got a little caught up in it all, and neglected her feelings. To me this was a time that was 'all about me' and I lost sight of anything else that was going on around me. I know my friend had a few health issues and I wasn't there for her through that, I just sort of carried on as if everything was project wedding and to me at that point, is all that I had in my head. 


Whether this has anything to do with why she decided to let me down, I guess I will never know. 


As far as I was concerned, it was the morning before my wedding day and I was rushing to get out of the door, into the car, and up to the hospital for my 12 week scan. Then we had a long drive to Bognor Regis to collect the VW Campervan we were using as our wedding car, then I had to be back in time for my manicure and pedicure and for an early night. So lots on that day, and when I received a message asking if said friend could bring her dog along to our wedding breakfast, and that she had already asked the venue if it would be ok (oh the embarrassment!) my first reaction was 'this girl has got to be joking with me?' My second reaction was 'Who seriously asks if you can take a dog to a wedding?'  


Then when I responded and said it wasn't an option the messages turned nasty. She told me that her Dad wouldn't be coming then, because someone had to stay at home with the dog. So this would mean an empty seat at a table very near the top table, which would be in ALL the photographs, so I would have an empty seat glaring at me from my table and this wasn't something I wanted. I wanted a room full of people I loved, I had worked my arse off planning the wedding, and this was just making me feel on edge and sick. And not only that, but it cost £££'s per head for food and drink so for her to flippantly tell me that her Dad wouldn't be coming made me feel like a mug for going to so much effort on personalised table gifts and the seating plan.


I was in the car on the way to see my baby for the first time at our first scan, and I had this shit to deal with, srsly?


So I married Mr O without my so called Good Friend and her parents present. 


I scanned the faces smiling back at me in the church courtyard, hoping and praying to see them all there, but there weren't there. They didn't come. They didn't come to my wedding. 


I had three cold empty seats staring back at me from my seat at my wedding breakfast. Three 3 course meals that went uneaten, and endless embarrassing mentions in my brothers speech. 


I refuse to let my wedding day be tainted by the fact I was so heartbroken by her actions, clearly the damn dog took presidence on that day, and a friendship that stood many years, and lot of loss, came to an end. 


I (like the mug that I am) even contacted her Dad on a very special anniversary to them, I sent an email. I didn't get a response. 


I never understand the behaviour of people, or why people think it acceptable to cause heartache on a day that is supposed to be so special - especially when the Good Friend knew how my heart ached for my Mum. 


What burns is that a year down the line I receive a text message from the Good Friend asking how I am. No apology, no mention of anything that happened, just a meaningless text. Then we got into the same arguement as the year previous, she didnt understand why I was so hurt, she still kept banging on about her damn dog. Really? Are we having this conversation yet again? Still no apology for hurting me? All further texts got unread and deleted, I don't need people like this in my life. Mr O forbode me to ever speak to her again, knowing how much she hurt me its nice to have the backup. 


Isn't it a shame though? That all this happened when it all could have gone so differently. 


Thank god for all the beautiful and genuine people in my life. Her actions only make me love and appreciate them all even more.